Monday, May 19, 2014

If someone wants you in their life, they'll put you there...right?

But I guess...realistically it's not that easy for some people. It's a matter of IF they have the courage to overcome this fear that is stopping them from letting you be apart of their life. This is something new that I've come to understand and simply put, it's sad. Some people become so damaged that they would rather be in solitude, running away, hiding from this fear of becoming attached. Because with attachment comes the risk of having to let go.

This idea that you don't deserve kindness or don't feel worthy is (for lack of a better word) self-destructive. You deserve these things as much as the person trying to offer it to you does. You are worth it. And if you need someone to tell you that, I am telling you that every ounce of you is worth it.

That title up there that I used to be such a firm believer of no longer applies to me. But there are still people out there that takes that quote to heart. Remember that the moment you ever decide to push someone away, that they might not be willing to fight for your approval because they know what it's like to be tossed aside, to beg, to be stuck between "Should I keep going or should I just drop it". Is this even worth it anymore? What am I doing?". That's why they hold this quote so close to their hearts.

Don't push someone away because you're afraid. Vulnerability may be the core of shame, fear and our struggle for worthiness. But it's also the birth place of joy, creativity, belonging and love. You have to have the willingness to say "I love you first", the willingness to do things that have no guarantee. You must have the courage to be imperfect.

You're depriving yourself of living by not meeting these desires. Don't keep yourself in this cycle of being unfulfilled. Our desire to be loved, seen, heard, respected, and understood by others is natural. We crave human connection and we can only get that if we are honest with ourselves first.

And for those who don't fight hard enough or contemplate on whether or not they should continue to pursue someone who seems like they don't want you in their life..."nothing good comes easy". If someone pushes you away, understand that it's not always personal. It just may be a way they cope with certain things. And in most cases those certain things to them are "too good to be true".
They want to connect with you more than anything, they want to feel comfortable around you, they want to know that you'll be there whether they push you away or pull you close. That is what they truly want. So please, if you care about this person, care to connect with this person, don't give up. Some people need you more than you need them. And I don't mean that in a way of superiority . Just keep your hand out a little longer, I'm sure they'll come around.

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